Jelly Cake
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I’ll try to make it to your wedding.
I might have something I forgot to do that day.
I might have to wash my hair.
Or take my dog to the vet.
But I’m pretty sure I’ll make it to my best friend’s wedding.
I might have an emergency business meeting that day.
I might have to take my mom to the doctor’s.
Or take my car to get washed.
But I’m pretty sure I’ll make it…
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“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.
A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.
A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master…”
— Elizabeth Gilbert -
she always liked colored bulbs and tinted windows
I think in french, I don’t know the meaning, its just a song I heard
and I asked you to forget everything you know, and dared you to just breathe
my memory is slipping because I’m letting it
you dared to grab me by the hand, and sparks of an illusory love came zapping through my brain, just memories of something that ceases to exist
tell me why I love the smell of cigarettes (because I love the smell of population control?)
I dance with the cosmos and sing with the sun, love seeps out from my pores
I tap my fingers on the mantle of reality…and I ask “Who are you and what am I?”
the answer is just static…static on the radio…
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oh how i’d like to take these riddles and make them rattle. and oh how id like to peel back these layers and levels and sink deep and then shallow. God what do we have here? in the folds of my brain, there’s electricity. you’re the spark and i’m the plug. if we’ve had our time and there’s none left then i’ll take it and cherish it. caterpillars into butterflies, this is our transformation. ill take you in any form. but this isnt about us. i’d live for this, i’ll die for this, i’ll bleed for this, i’ll breathe for this. for the questions, for the unknown. this isn’t explainable. you can fight it all you want, but realize we’re a pair to be reckoned with. love doesnt go, but reasoning flees. it’s been gone for a while. there’s a force, a power, a metaphysical triumph. let’s get to it. please baby please, i’ll never ask anything more. you don’t have to love me, you don’t have to grow old with me. just never forget this.
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“Flowers through asphalt, Diamonds in the pockets of your eyes
Turn your face and hide
I saw a woman with ribbons in her hair
Old and lonely, so beautiful I had to stop and stare
The well will not run dry” -
Mary Lou, this is what you do
Everyday Mary Lou from hospice comes reminding me cancer lives in this house
The dog barks as the door bell rings…it reminds me we cant escape old age
It comes knocking at the door and seeping through the windows
My grandmother sits in her chair, sipping on her oxygen
And oh how I pray to God every breath doesn’t hurt me like it hurts her
Those evil cells multiplying inside her…cancer cancer cancer… the devil doesn’t stop
But everyday she puts on a smile and her jaundice eyes shine bright
Shes going home where He’s prepared a place for her and if it wasn’t true He wouldn’t say it to be so -
two fish in a fish bowl
two friends in a wind whirl
two lovers that heart break controls
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“I wanna be fair like I wanna be played”
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honey I can act and I can play it back
but I’ll have to leave you for a story teller with appendages
you’re my cup of tea, but I have to give up the caffeine
I kept running and running, a stitch in my side, a hole in my lungs
but I felt my heart steadily growing and fixing up patches
the mystic said, “be aware, you’ll be alone” but why would I listen?
“all these people drinking lover’s spit, they sit around clean their face with it, and they listen to teeth to learn how to quit tied to a night they never met. you know it’s time we grow old and do some shit. I like it all that way…”
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we have to stop meeting like this
in the back of my mind
its not safe
you might catch onto me
and how I find your brown eyes irresistable
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The honey suckles are out now.
I used to know them.
If there was ever a time I felt peace it was when I knew them.
I’d spend hours getting to know them from the inside, I’d break their bones and collect their organs, from the outside I scratched their skin.
They don’t know me now.
My neck is longer and my eyes are darker.
But sometimes when I walk by them I smell them saying “you look familiar”
And I nod back.
